20 Oct It’s not just you.
An article showed up on Oprah.com that I wish every woman on the planet would read right now. It’s titled, “The New Midlife Crisis”, however I think it could really be called, “Welcome to the World of Being a Woman in 2017.”
I’ve had several clients send it to me saying, “I could have written this word for word,” and “It’s like she was in my head.”
Here’s what the author, Ada Calhoun, says:
“An awful lot of middle-aged women are furious and overwhelmed. What we don’t talk about enough is how the deck is stacked against their feeling any other way.”
“For a while, I thought it was just Type A strivers, but then I started hearing the same sort of thing even from my low-key friends. When I reached out to strangers for this story, I heard the same toxic brew of fear, anxiety and anger. Not to mention sweatiness and insomnia.”
I called my best friend,
“Hey,” I said, “do you know anyone having a midlife crisis I could talk to?”
The phone was silent for a second.
Finally, she said, “I’m trying to think of any woman I know who’s not.”
I’ve worked with some of the most badass women in the world for the last 10 years, they are Luminaries and Rising Stars all in the own right and without a shadow of a doubt, there will be some part of this article that they can relate to, no matter what their age. There are no words for how challenging it is to be a woman, right now.
I had to send this to you because you need to know, you are not alone. I mentioned this article to a few men I know and some of them just couldn’t believe it saying, “No one I know is going through this.”
That’s because we don’t talk about it.
Even a very well known motivational speaker said, “The women I know don’t struggle with self-doubt, Cherie. They’re killing it.” I still can’t believe he actually made me doubt my ten years of experience for a second.
Women I know and love, who are at the TOP of their game right now, are still editing themselves, holding back and suffering from giant imposter syndrome.
I am right there with them. Sometimes I think that my profession just makes it worse. As a Possibilitarian, I guide and mentor big hearts and minds to change the world. That has made me feel at times like I have to be nothing short of perfect; like, “Who the bleep am I to be shining the light for her?”
I’ve spent my life immersed in self-help/personal transformation/all things enlightenment in order to figure out this crazy ride and help others. I think we all have.
The author points out:
“Meditation. Pilates. Hiking. A ton of research demonstrably proves how beneficial exercising regularly, quieting your mind and spending time in nature can be. Taken to an extreme, though, even the most strategic and useful self-help can wind up feeling as oppressive as the problems it was meant to soothe. The flood of advice can send the message that if you’re unhappy, it’s your own fault.
Around the turn of the millennium, the focus on discovering oneself shifted to perfecting oneself.”
It has to stop.
We are, every one of us, exactly what our children need and exactly what the world needs. We deserve to be loved fully, to be seen and heard and to be honored deeply.
The #metoo movement has had me swimming in sadness, feeling pretty helpless to contribute. And then I remembered the quote, “If you’re working on a problem that can be solved in this lifetime, it’s too small.”
So with a deep breath and all the love I’ve got, I’m just here to say that you’re doing a really good job.
I think you’re a freaking unicorn and if you ever forget it, or as one of my dear friends says, if you lose your horn, just call me. Call me as a sister friend or sign up for an official session and we’ll get it back.
Our greatest gift to this planet is to be who we are here to be and give what only we can give. I am signed up to help as many humans as possible to do just that – and to enjoy the hell out of this crazy ride.
If you need any support at all, maybe a hall pass or some radical permission, just email me and ask.
I’m wildly open to how we do this right now. Most of you know I normally work in packages of time, 3/6/12 mos or one big deep dive of a day, but even if you just need an hour, I’m game.