16 Apr When the waves of life are crashing, dive deep.
I don’t know about you, but doesn’t life seem to be getting more intense and a little crazy? I get calls every day from clients who are really getting pushed to their limits. You’re not alone. It feels like someone stepped on the Universal gas and we’re all being taken on the ride of our lives. Too bad it doesn’t feel like the top-down-riding-by-the-ocean-music-blasting-kind of ride. More like I’m sitting blind folded in the back seat, no idea why we keep making such random detours and going backwards.
Since I’m all about making life easier and more enjoyable, how about we throw off that blind fold, get in the front seat and grab the freaking wheel?
1. Choose how you’re going to deal with it.
How do you normally deal with feeling out of control?
When life gets out of hand, you can do two things – buckle under the pressure or buckle up and drive right into it. The people who buckle take on the victim role, blame others and avoid all discomfort. They drink too much, do drugs and distract in any way possible. This causes the situation to persist and most likely get worse until they become someone who buckles up.
People who put the seat belt on make a gesture that says, “I’m ready. Bring it.” They see the uncertainty as a challenge, an adventure and they trust they can handle it. They see everything in life as EQUAL – nothing bigger, nothing smaller.
Think ultimate stare down contest. If you stare the challenge in the face, you’re going to find a way to make it blink and then hopefully start cracking up that you ever took it so seriously in the first place.
You get to decide. Sometimes you’re going to buckle, cause you’re human. Do it for as long as it feels good. I’m a huge fan of a pity party if it involves wine, chips and girlfriends. But if I did that all day and night, I’d feel terrible. So give yourself a limit – whine away and then grab the wheel.
2. Choose a metaphor that gives you power
So far, we’ve been using the driving metaphor. Do you approach life from the driver’s seat or as a passenger? I hear all kinds of metaphors every day and there’s a big difference between good ones and ones that will take you down, fast and hard.
When life gets wild, do you say it’s: Crazy? A circus? Hamster wheel? Treadmill? Rat race? Chaos?
Not my favorites. Just writing that made me a little stressed. : )
What do these ones feel/sound like? Right now life is: Pretty full. A Surfer’s dream. Like Class V rapids. A roller coaster ride. Bumper cars. The ultimate game. Like going through fire.
Any one of these makes you an Artist, a Surfer, an Athlete, a Kid or an Alchemist.
Not bad. And guess what? You don’t have to be the same one all the time. Change it up to face whatever life is giving you. Sometimes it’s good to be a badass on a Class V river and other days, it’s sweet to just grab your virtual board and ride the waves.
3. Dive deep
Even though I don’t surf for real, I feel like a Roxy-wearing surfer girl with a permanent tan, cause that metaphor is my personal favorite. I see every crazy challenge that comes my way like a wave. Some scare the you-know-what out of me, but then when I remember I want to ride life because of the mind-blowing thrill of it – everything changes. Can you feel it?
So no matter what metaphor you choose, you must then dive deep into the uncertainty of the challenge. Deep underneath it. You see the picture, where the girl is going down under the wave? It’s critical. Most people will paddle madly away and wait for a smaller wave or just go home. But if you go INTO it, something unbelievably magical happens. It gets really quiet. Have you ever dived deep down to the bottom of the swimming pool? Or underneath the waves in the ocean? Nothing can touch you down there. That’s where you go to listen and wait. You watch the waves as they wash over you. Get quiet.
And ask for guidance.
You know you’re not ultimately driving the car all by yourself. Just like you’re not the only one out there surfing the wild waves. There’s a Universal GPS that we so often forget about. It’s deep inside you. And if you just stop for a minute, let the waves crash and ask: “What is the really good reason for all of this?” “What can I do to ride this like never before?” “What would I do if I had no fear?” Your heart cannot resist a good question. So ask. And then do what it says.
Any true surfer knows that riding the waves requires mad sensitivity. You must listen deeply to the waves, to your body and to something bigger. Otherwise, you’ll just get tackled. Which is of course, part of the fun, and means you get to tell some pretty awesome stories.
Go get tackled. Get lost. Get burned.
And come back and laugh with me.
It’s all a part of the ride.